weekend update

ladies and gentlemen, this was a weekend for the books! my little brother asked this precious girl to be his wife, which means we found the last macquilkan sister!!! my parents flew me to Dallas to surprise my siblings & be apart of celebrating these two! I am a big fan of these two peoples... they both love the Lord with all their hearts and challenge me in the way they love people. through them, the Lord has touched so many lives, which was evident on Friday when tons of people showed up to celebrate this precious couple. their dreams are big. their hearts are full. seriously, y'all, they could change the world together! 

here's to dreaming big, following God & loving others! happy monday, peoples!

passion renewed

this morning was the start of a new study for me. I found out about She Reads Truth through a great friend last year, but this is the first study I will be walking through daily. they did a study a few months ago called "justice." it will go through the idea of Biblical justice... how the Bible informs your view of social justice. day one begins at the cross, where they say "justice and mercy kissed." yesterday in class we even talked about how God could have used any means necessary to atone for sin, but He chose to work within the law and provide the perfect sacrifice in His Son, Jesus. was it just that Jesus died for our sins when He lived a perfect life that we cannot live? not at all. but this is where the debt of sin under the law was paid, and this is why we can now have a relationship with God... because of this mercy + justice kiss.

I am reminded in day one of this study the reason why I'm even in law school. social justice holds a special place in my heart because it kills me to see people treated as less than they are worth. all men were created in the image of God. all. not some, not the ones you really like, not even just the ones you can tolerate, but all. because all men are created in the image of God, they have immense value. my heart aches to see this value torn down, not only for the damage it does to the individual wronged, but also for the damage done to the individual who caused the injury. this is not how we were created to live. praise the Lord for sweet reminders and softened hearts in the midst of a very cynical world!

{don't} listen to your heart

no, this is not one of those I hate love, romance sucks, grab a pint of ice cream, cynical posts. nor is this a bash on romantic comedies, love songs, or love stories. **I actually am a pretty big fan of the one being written in my life currently** this is more of a "let's stop and think about what we are really saying here." as I write this I am reminded of the children's song my siblings & I listened to as we grew up "oh, be careful little ears what you hear..." and the truth in it that should be true for all ages. there is a popular phrase our culture screams today, "listen to your heart"... and it's usually followed by some cheesy line like "and you'll never go wrong." well, let's examine that statement for a second before we blindly agree... **excuse the logical reasoning that has annoyingly taken over my brain. thanks, law school** 

what happens when people listen to their hearts? like what if my heart is telling me I need to make-out with some random guy, who isn't Michael? what if my heart is telling me to explode at the kid next to me who rudely interrupts me with his slurping? what if my heart is telling me that I should only eat dark chocolate & coffee? what if my heart is telling me to not study until later... and later it tells me the same thing? what if my heart tells me to be sassy to all people because I woke up on the wrong side of the bed? what if my heart tells me not to invite certain people because I just don't feel like including them? I think we can all agree that if I listened to my heart in those circumstances, people would hate me. many of those same people telling me to "listen to [my] heart" would tell me those things are illogical and would cause more harm than good. my point is not that feelings don't matter, and we should never listen to them... it's that we have to have some kind of filter to run those feelings through to see if they are reliable. and what if they aren't? I would like to argue that more often than not, we should be singing "don't listen to your heart when it's telling you lies" **you have to read that to "listen to your heart, when it's calling for you..." in order to get that one**

so here's to embracing the fact that sometimes our hearts lie to us & rewriting the message of today's culture.

cheers, crazies!

this week has had a lot of ups and downs... it makes me feel a little crazy the different emotions I have in a given week at law school, but I guess that comes with the territory! when my alarm went off this morning, my first thought was "ughhh, I need another 6 hours of sleep!" **to snooze or not to snooze** that feeling is never good, especially when you need tons of focus & a get crap done attitude for the day... but luckily, it's friday. and friday means that I get a little bit more time to breathe... on today's not-school-to-do list:

1. get hairs did **might get a little more chopped off than normal**
2. a full 60-minute yoga class
3. drink some red wine & cook a good meal
4. bed before 10

yeah, today is going to be a good day! cheers to finishing the 5th week of law school & here's to the crazy ones!!

Psalm 23

this psalm holds a special place in my heart because it was the second passage of Scripture that my dad had me memorize when I was little. since then, it has been a constant source of comfort: when I was scared of monsters, walking at home from babysitting in the dark, before making big decisions about my job, trying to decide where to go for law school, and now, even as I am walking through law school. meditating on Scripture is not one of my strong suits. in fact, I almost never really sit and reflect in a single passage of Scripture for long periods of time. last night, as I just finished my huge amount of reading for today, this Scripture came to mind, and I knew I needed to reflect on this more during my quiet time this morning.

I won't give you all the gory details of my meditation on this passage, BUT I do want to give you my big takeaways. throughout the psalm, David {author of the psalm} talks about God as his Shepherd; He leads us into green pastures and by quiet waters... there is this vivid imagery of peace, like deeply breathing fresh air. we go on to see that this peace is available even in the midst of craziness and trials. I'm not saying that law school is "the valley of the shadow of death", but it is hard. the things that make it even harder are the lies that I believe, and when I begin to compare myself to others. these things create unnecessary stressors. **can I get an amen?** one thing that really hit me is that I am not taking the time to stop & reflect. I haven't been taking those deep breaths or sitting still by those quiet waters. what I have been doing is allowing the noise of the lies in my head become overwhelming, and I have forgotten God is my Shepherd; I shall not want. He is everything I need: my Sustainer, my Provider, my Peace, & my Hiding-place. I can find rest in Him.

weekend update {deep breath}

on this unusually cool september Monday, the message "take a deep breath" is ringing in my head. especially since we are supposed to get our first graded writing assignment back later this week. this past friday evening, I was able to let it go **because there's really nothing you can do once you hit "submit" online** the whole taking a deep breath part is carrying over into this evening. I was able to get a lot done this weekend... except rest. tonight I will rest. I will get some things done, but mainly I will breathe deeply, let it go slowly, and rest fully. yeah, that means I'm going to yoga-it-up tonight.... first yoga class **not online** since June... it's about that time. 

here's to breathing in the good stuff. namaste, peoples.

letters from the library {frigid edition}

dear fellow law library peoples,

first, let me just say that I am amazed at your dedication to quiet & studies, but some of you need to calm it down. helpful hint: mean muggin people is NOT a way to make friends... especially when you talk 10x's louder just an hour later. second, I would just like to point out that it is a special kind of cold on the third floor. the consistency despite it being 70 & torrential downpour one day and sunny & 90 outside the next is remarkable... but I think we'd all be ok if you came up to at least like 70 degrees. **or maybe that's just the Texan in me that can't handle the cold** third, the "student lounge" kettle, keurig, microwave, and water purifier are on point. **can I get an amen?!** fourth, when you are in the student lounge, it's awkward to sit there and read... especially after someone has said "hi" to you. if you wanted peace & quiet, go back to your carrel. the student lounge was made so that people could eat louder things **like celery, for example** without getting the mean mug looks I mentioned earlier. also, please make another annoyed sigh when I bite into my celery... my sassiness loves to come out & play. **please refer to the second line... calm.it.down.**

so far it's been a good week of hanging with y'all. let's just remember these times when things start to get crazy up in here.

love y'all, mean it.
that girl with headphones

spinning the plates {balance}

balance is hard to achieve when you're busy. the past few weeks I have felt like I am trying to keep all of the "plates" in my life spinning, but they keep dropping. the plates include **legalese: but are not limited to** law school (with two mini-plates of reading for classes and then outlining/reviewing for those classes), Michael, family, friends (maintaining old & establishing new), overall health (exercise & sleep), and my relationship with the Lord. I realize that in different seasons of life some plates are going to require more attention than others, but there is always this pressure to keep them all up and not let any crash. 

this past week, I have felt like they are all crashing. I haven't exercised since Sunday **and we won't even talk about sleep bcuz what even is that**; I don't get to call or write notes like I want to for my awesome family and sweet friends; I feel like a terrible girlfriend because there is like one hour in each day that I get to spend with Michael without studying; I feel like my relationship with the Lord has been overrun with law school & that's all I ever bring to Him anymore; and there is this annoying, nagging, DUMB comparison thing in the back of my head with my classmates on how they answered questions, how far they've gotten in their work for the week, how long they spend in the library... **this list goes on and on**

the key in all of this is the "I feel." I continue to put these ridiculously high expectations on myself instead of being realistic within my own abilities in a single day. this became evident to me when the past three days of to-do lists (aka: my expectations for myself) barely have the first three or four of 10-15 items crossed off. that can either stress me out **which it did, but I'm trying to do what's next** OR I can choose to stop. breathe. and realize that I probably should reevaluate my expectations. it's ok if I can't get all of those things done today. prioritize that thing, sister, and be ok with not being perfect. because I'm not. and that's 100% ok with me. so here's to realistic expectations, breathing, & not letting the crazy overrun you.

till death do us part {law school edition}

dear law school,

this past weekend was a lot of big markers in our relationship. on friday, I got a carrel in the library, and saturday morning I moved in. living together is going to help us understand each other more and spend a lot more quality time together. saturday also marked the first 8-5 full weekend day spent at the library. this is not to be confused with how things were with "club mullins" in undergrad with the socializing and barely even thinking about studies. no, things are more serious and committed now... I've also officially started outlining, which I'm told is a BIG step in any law school relationship. I guess you could say I'm in it for the long haul. for better or worse. here we go... #movingin 

jumping head first,
ally

coming soon: balancing act, my favorite wall, & letters from the library.

virginia beach love

this city is just unreal... stunning trees, beautiful waterways, and to top it all off an unreal beach! Michael and I have "the list", a collection of **mostly free** fun places/things that we have to do while we are here. a few of the things we have already crossed off of the list are in this post! let me tell you, the more I see of this place, the more I love it! Mt. Trashmore is going to be a staple for us because of it's running path, free workout stations, and a huge hill **used to be a landfill** to train on! it is absolutely breath-taking **literally & figuratively**

our next check-off was finding a good taco shack. well, this place is not really a shack, but it is a whole in the wall AND the fish tacos were amazing!! seriously, if you are in Virginia Beach, you need to stop at Pelon's Baja Grill, and if you don't get their famous fish tacos, you're wrong. Pelon's has a funky feel, an awesome staff, and is super cheap. **not to mention free parking for patrons which is HUGE down on the boardwalk** pinky promise you won't be sorry if you stop here!!

we then took a quick walk to Jody's Popcorn... I don't think you can really go wrong here. they always have those cinnamon-roasted nuts that tantalize you during the holidays, fresh kettle corn, and tons of fudge varieties. **michael's fav = cookie dough fudge, mine = kettle corn. always** luckily Jody's is just a block away from the ocean front where you can sit, listen to live bands on the weekends, people watch, and hang with King Neptune **disclaimer: contrary to popular opinion I am NOT the photographer stationed at King Neptune** also, I just love this picture because of this guy. he has been unreal the past couple of weeks, and I won't go into why right now, but he is seriously the bestest. yes, he is laughing at me in this picture. yes, he thinks I'm ridiculous **or out of control** yes, he stays around anyways. **insert a bunch of heart-eyed emojis here**

goals {update}

this weekend consisted of studying, hanging with the boyf, finally jumping in on the ALS ice bucket challenge, and making headway on my goals list! this sunday I ran the first half-marathon before 26. the rock n' roll series is probably one of my favorites! in college, one of my bests and I ran the one in dallas, and yesterday I was able to add virginia beach to that list! there really is nothing like the energy of race day. everyone is pumped to begin, live bands are around {almost} every corner, and the people cheering on the sidelines are seriously the best! even though yesterday was by far not my best run, I'm so pumped to do this again **and hopefully kill my time** 

happy long-weekend, loves! I'll be spending the rest of my day today studying **insert sleepy eyes here** here's to knocking things off the goal list, spending quality time with great peoples, and sore legs for dayz.