my thoughts {goodbyes}

goodbyes are one of the hardest things for me. in the past, I have not done these well, & it's actually cost me a few friendships. there is a balance between being overly dramatic with them or being cold-hearted, & I tend to lean more towards the cold-hearted side. how is one supposed to balance these things well? it's not that I am a robot or have a black, cold heart, but I am uncomfortable with showing a lot of emotion in front of others. typically, I become "numb" inside when I'm going through something hard, like goodbyes. this numbness looks like happy & care-free on the outside, but it can come across as fake or heartless.

fortunately, I have had the chance to slowly process these goodbyes since last October when I realized there would actually be goodbyes. there have been breakdowns & sad days mixed with the excitement & nervous energy of the unknown. I keep telling people, "this isn't goodbye! you aren't rid of me that easily!", but while that is 100% true, I also have moved around enough to know that those relationships change. that kind of change is hard. it's the change in relationships that will no-doubt cause sadness in the days to come, but for right now, I'm trying not to focus on that. I'm choosing to focus on today & squeeze as much out of these today's as I can because there's no benefit in being sad now! there is, however, benefit in savoring every moment I get with these people I will miss so much later because today I live life with them! and tomorrow? well, tomorrow we will cross that bridge when it comes.

coming soon: graduation season, training, & {yoga} lately