lately

we are one week past Nugget's due date and counting. if you've texted me for an update, my likely response has been #stillpregnant. while some days are much more difficult than others, there are a lot of things I am thankful for about being 41 weeks pregnant...

1. my mom is now in town **insert all the leg kicks here**
2. extra time to get some online class work done
3. extra time to clean and get (even more) organized
4. an extra ultrasound & a perceptive doctor
5. getting an appointment with a pediatric urologist for a small concern with one kidney
6. being forced to really trust the Lord's timing/plan
7. extra time to pray over Nugget
8. sweet community who has loved on & prayed for us this past week
9. the Lord's patience with my roller-coaster feelings
10. the sweetest man to do this all alongside

here's to **trying** to focus on this list rather than the discomfort and longing to meet this little one. sweet Nugget, we are so ready to meet you!

dear due date

dear due date,

well, you were monday... as in 3 days ago. since seeing those two pink lines on may 1st, we've been counting down the days until you with the hope expectation that you would be the day we met little Nugget. however, that has (obviously) not been the case. on monday, I was pissed at you, and it took me longer than I'd care to admit to process through bitterness at not having met this little life. it's now thursday, and I'm feeling all the feels: thankful we made it this far after early scares, frustrated you didn't bring what you promised, discomfort & physical pain because 40+ weeks with an 8 pounder, and excitement that any day could be the day. while I sort of prepared myself for Nugget to arrive late, my actual expectation was that you would be the last possible day I would meet him/her. with each contraction that passes **because I've had them for the past month**, I become more cynical and frustrated with myself for ever having that expectation.

if I'm honest, my bitterness towards you comes and goes. I'm semi-grateful for the way you have made me look forward to labor starting, for being able to knock out some online class assignments, and for a few good walks each day since you've passed. but let's be honest, I'd rather you have brought about Nugget than these other things.

for the past few mornings I've had to remind myself of psalm 139:16... 

"Your eyes have seen my unformed substance;

and in Your book were all written the days that were ordained for me,

when as yet there was not one of them."

that last phrase, "when as yet there was not one of them," gets me every time. with each day that passes I'm reminded of God's perfect plan for Nugget's life, even if that means I don't get to meet him/her quite yet. this truth is good and hard at the same time. my patience is tested each morning I wake up and labor hasn't even begun to say hi. however, God is good, even in this season of waiting for this little one to arrive; even through the discomfort; even if Nugget stays put for the long-haul until being induced on the 19th. **yes, as in one week from today. woof** 

sincerely,

over you.

waiting {nugget edition}

taken at 32 weeks... there's no way I'm getting into a dress & heals now.

well, we are three days away from our due date, january 9. this wednesday the doctor told me that Nugget is definitely going to be taking his/her sweet time and began discussing the "what if's" of inducing. woof. this season of waiting is unlike any other time, yet so similar to other times of waiting. actually, love the past few days I've been reminded of another waiting period as I try to put into words the feelings of this one...

two years ago today, Michael proposed to me, but the days leading up to that proposal were full of mind tricks, anticipation, and, honestly, frustration. I was so annoyed when things didn't happen when I though they would, but when he proposed, it was as if the Lord just said, "I told you I had this." one thing of which I am convinced: God's timing is always better than my own.

this waiting for Nugget's arrival is a little different than Michael's proposal because we will definitely meet Nugget in the next week and a half... but it could also happen at any time. honestly, I would much rather this happen sooner rather than later for multiple reasons: 1. I'm so over being pregnant; 2. I can't wait to see this little one's face and get to know his/her personality; and 3. I would like to avoid all the medical interventions that would likely have to happen if we were induced. however, I know that God's timing is way more perfect than my own. God knows this little life inside of me; He has been knitting Nugget together inside of me for the past 9 months. He has planned out each and every one of Nugget's days already... "when as yet there was not one of them." **see Psalm 139** trusting the Lord's timing has never been a strength of mine; however, I am thankful that God has given me His Holy Spirit, who is building this trust inside of me. that's the beauty behind the waiting: I'm not in this alone. the Lord is with me every step of the way, helping me to take each step in trusting His perfect plan. 

hopefully I will have news in the next week about our first time meeting Nugget, but until then, see ya, loves!

one year later {mk edition}

last year, I started a journey with mary kay. I'm not a salesperson by nature, so I mainly just sell to myself, my gran, and my mother in law **thanks, ladies** I started because within a week of just using one of my favorite products **see #4 below**, I could tell an immediate difference in my skin. I dove in, & after a year of using a bunch of different mary kay products, I decided why not share what I've learned here?! I'm not sharing so that you'll buy from me or anything, but because skin care & skin issues can be super frustrating **trust this girl who knows the struggle of adult acne** and why not help a sister (or brother) out by reviewing some of the products I actually use. so, here are my absolute favs of some of the products I've used (and a few that just didn't cut it):

1. clearproof acne treatment gel. (aka: my secret acne ninja) this stuff is miraculous. it's a spot treatment, so it's not a put all over your face kind of product. this little miracle worker literally kicks acne's a$$... I can have a blemish arise in the morning, put this stuff on it, and it will be gone by noon. the tougher blemishes? gone within a day or two. without this stuff, I would have blemishes that stuck around for days or even a week! this product definitely gets two thumbs up!!! however, it is a bit drying, so it definitely needs to be followed by a good moisturizer. 

2. satin hands. this system is a pregnancy must-have for me. in fact, my friends who get pregnant will receive the fragrance-free version from me because it is simply amazing. I use it when I have dry hands, when I need a manicure, when I need a pedicure **yes, you can use it on things other than your hands**, when I just need some extra pampering, etc. my favorite is to use it as an at-home pedicure followed with #3 below or on my growing stomach followed up with Vaseline Intensive Moisture Lotion **I'm not for certain, but I do think this has been a huge help in me not getting any stretch marks on my stomach so far**

3. mint bliss energizing lotion for feet. alright, let's be serious, mint plus moisturizing foot lotion plus comfy socks? I mean, it doesn't get much better than this for at-home pampering. this product is a little more oily than the hand creme included in satin hands, so I wouldn't recommend it for other body parts; however, it's perfect for softening the rough spots on your feet! this is definitely another pregnancy must-have for me as well as a summer must-have because it's cheaper in the long run than getting a bunch of pedicures **you're welcome, Michael**

4. timewise matte-wear foundation. ok, because of my adult-acne issues, I've never been a fan of any foundation for longer than maybe a month or two. I always had issues with not enough coverage or great coverage that caused breakouts. this product is a liquid foundation, and it was the first MK product I bought. I instantly loved it, but then, after a week of using it every day, I noticed my skin was actually softer than before I used it. honestly, this product convinced me that investing in the skin care side of MK was worth it! over the past year, I also experimented with other MK foundations: cc cream and mineral powder. neither one of those is my favorite for my skin-type (normal to oily): the cc cream was too oily and the mineral powder was not enough coverage. I did, however, experiment this summer and found that using concealer with mineral powder foundation over it wasn't a bad option. BUT, honestly, I went back to using this liquid matte-wear foundation, and it really just is my favorite. you don't have to use a whole lot for a good amount of coverage. it's build-able, and it doesn't make me breakout after wearing it all day. win, win, win!!

5. foundation primer. primers and I have had a love-hate relationship. before MK, I had a primer that I liked simply because it made my face look really great for special occasions; however, the next day my face would break out major because it clogged up my pores **worst** so, when I was told to try out this foundation primer, I was skeptical that it would do the exact same. I use this product every day I wear makeup! it helps my makeup go on evenly, makes you not have to use as much foundation for a good amount of coverage, helps your makeup stay-put all day, and it doesn't make me break out!!! bonus: it even has a little spf to protect your skin throughout the day.

after this year, I've learned a lot about skincare, and, honestly, I can tell a huge difference in the appearance of my skin. blemishes heal faster. I have fewer acne scars. my skin looks smoother. the tone of my skin is more even. these products worked for me, which is kind of really exciting because I pretty much tried everything else before! there are a couple of products that I am going to be putting to the test over the next 6 months, so be sure to keep watching for those updates! if you have any questions or just want to talk skincare, don't hesitate to reach out! I know the struggles and would love to share more of my journey with you!

the year of change {2017}

2016 was a fun & challenging year. two trial competitions, getting appointed vice chairwoman of the trial advocacy board, finding out we are pregnant, Michael getting promoted and then working overnights for over 6 months, summer classes during the first trimester, rearranging our apartment a million times to make room for Nugget, reading all the baby books, a crazy fall semester, too many hospital trips,  and finishing off with our first holiday with family since getting married. we packed a ton into this past year, and I'm so thankful for all the craziness!

it's also a little hard to imagine how we could pack more into one year than we did this past year, but 2017 promises to be a big big year for this haefner family. there are a lot of knowns and a lot of unknowns as we begin this crazy adventure of a year. focusing on the unknowns can be a little overwhelming, but we are confident that nothing in this upcoming year is a surprise to the Lord. so, instead of focusing on the unknowns, I decided to make a list **typical, I know** of 10 things I'm looking forward to in 2017:

1. meeting & getting to know Nugget **hopefully very soon**
2. graduating law school
3. getting back into running & yoga
4. may's cross-country move to texas
5. living WAY closer to family **insert all the shimmies & fist pumps here**
6. wearing normal (non-maternity) clothes
7. seeing Michael as a dad
8. being done with the bar exam
9. adventuring as a family of three
10. non-retail hours for Michael

2017, we ready. cheers.