alright, so I didn't post this when I said I would **oops** but getting a little space from the wedding has helped me process this second, big, wedding planning struggle. this was a massive struggle I lived with from january sixth through the wedding and for a month after! it affected the way I interacted with people, my inner thought life, and my walk with Jesus... what could this ginormous struggle have been? oh, it's just selfishness.
yeah, yeah, you're thinking, "really, that's your big struggle?!" or "you'll struggle with that your whole life, kid." but seriously, people, this hit full force during the wedding season! people build this season up so much for girls. it's "your BIG day! you should have whatever you want! you're the PRINCESS!" it's actually quite unreal the way those thoughts played in the back of my mind; constantly trying to be happy and celebrate with others, but wondering why my "said yes to the dress" didn't get posted on the shop's page, why my engagement pictures weren't blogged about, or why there weren't as many "oohs" and "ahhs" over things I DIY'ed at the wedding? am I not cute enough? did people hate my wedding? meanwhile, I made tons of decisions that basically revolved around me: my hair, my makeup, my bridesmaids, my nails, my food, my week-of schedule, etc. ugh, it's kind of gross even admitting this was in my head, but it was.
about two weeks prior to the wedding I had enough of me. I didn't like how distracted I was from the whole reason behind this wonderful day in the first place! praise the Lord for sweet, gentle reminders of what the wedding is all about: celebrating what God has done, is doing, and will do in & through Michael & I; celebrating His unfailing, steadfast love; and sharing His beautifully written story with people we love!
here's to less of me and more of Him!
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