it's a funny thing, anticipation. sometimes it is like a fun thought in the back of your mind & then other times it's the only thing you can think of. it can be dangerous when you begin to place your hope in the anticipated thing... especially when that expectation goes unrealized. living in the waiting. hoping in the waiting. being content in the waiting. those are all things in which I am unskilled. it's hard telling my heart to be patient; telling my mind to stop wondering; and telling myself to stop imagining things. but what if I'm not imagining things? what if what I've anticipated for so long is actually going to happen when I think it will?! on the other hand, what if my mind is playing tricks on me? what if I am playing mind games because I just really want this?
this is the state in which I find myself living. in between the talking myself out of things and a flicker of hope. in between the trying to live in the moment and planning out the future. I find myself doing silly things like filing & painting my nails **just in case** & taking extra care to have my hair semi-done. what is this?! I am so thankful that I have a God that is so faithful and more sure than the sunrise. in Him I can rest, even if the expectation goes unrealized; even if I am disappointed. in Him I find peace & joy & contentment for today & tomorrow & every day after. this anticipation is just a reminder of the great anticipation of His coming... how I should live every day: preparing for His coming back... living in a way that honors & glorifies Him so that I might one day hear "well done." the anticipation for that day is great; even greater than the anticipation of anything on this earth. so even in this anticipation of something so fun I can be thankful for the reminder of an even greater anticipation.
here's to the waiting, a new year, and great anticipation.
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