well people, this weekend I realized something: being in law school is hard & planning a wedding during law school is crazy. would I rather spend my day looking at pinterest for wedding inspiration? look into vendors in NWA? plan which songs we want at the wedding? look for the billionth time at dresses to try on later this week? pick out the bridal party gifts? OF COURSE!! however, it is becoming even more important for me to stay on top of my studies this semester; outlines for classes; and the two totally optional competitions I signed up for **insert "what was I thinking" emoji here** also, there's this half marathon that I signed up for, and it's right around the corner in march. to say this is the busiest season of my life to date would be an understatement! it's as good of a time to learn about the blessings of delegation and time management... because without it I really could turn into a crazy person in the next 5 months! here's to taking things one day at a time, to-do lists as long as my arm, learning the art of delegating, and meditating on philippians 4:6-7 to keep my sanity.
phrase of the day that Michael proposed: what in the world?!?! january 6, 2015: Michael & I were in arkansas visiting his family. that morning I had slipped off to have breakfast with a sweet friend. she asked me if I thought we would be engaged soon. my answer, "oh no! we aren't even close... well, I mean it will probably be like at least 2-3 months before that happens!" **little did I know** Michael really wanted to get us some kayaks, so the plan was to go to beaver lake & try out his uncle's kayaks that afternoon. around 2:00, we began the drive that we had done together only one other time: our first date. **and this is where things get interesting** on our way there, I decided to tell Michael that if I were going to guess the spot he would have proposed, it would be the little island in the middle of beaver lake that he pointed out to me on our first date **major foot in mouth... ladies, just keep those thoughts to yourself** I told him this because a while ago, while we were in Virginia, he mentioned he knew exactly where he would propose. I just assumed that meant it would happen somewhere in Virginia. again, I wasn't thinking, and I have zero filter. little did I know, that was the plan the whole time. Michael played it cool, and I never suspected a thing. when we got to the dock, the wind off the lake was soooo cold. plans changed. we decided to just sit & talk inside his uncle's cabin/lake house. I was sitting on the window seat, he was sitting on the couch. then he said, "ok, I need to talk to you about something..." and I tried to tell myself it wasn't happened & oh gosh, heart, be still! at some point he just stopped, and I finally said, "ok, what are you saying?" then... he got down on one knee and said the sweetest words followed by "will you marry me?" and at that moment, we were the only two on the planet who knew we were engaged, and it was the best. the proposal was very "us"... we were both in athletic clothes **Michael even wore 2-layers of cardinal gear** I had almost zero makeup on, and it was perfect. we sat and dreamed together for probably 30-45 minutes before heading back to his parent's house to tell everyone. the excitement of both of our families and so many friends has been an overwhelming blessing! thank y'all for sharing our excitement!!
Michael, thanks for putting up with my craziness & loving me for it. thanks for showing me a tangible picture of iron sharpening iron. thanks for pushing me towards higher goals. thanks for being my adventure partner for life. thanks for surprising me & allowing me to take part in surprising others with our news. thanks for loving & choosing me. you da you da. june 13, 2015, aka 5 months from TODAY, here we come!! #haefnerforever
so, while I'm working on the post about our ENGAGEMENT... here is a post I wrote when I was thought it was going to happen, right before I convinced myself it wouldn't happen for another 2-3 months at the earliest... and like 5 days before Michael actually proposed! takeaways: I'm ridiculous, God's timing is perfect, & Michael is officially good at surprises! it's a funny thing, anticipation. sometimes it is like a fun thought in the back of your mind & then other times it's the only thing you can think of. it can be dangerous when you begin to place your hope in the anticipated thing... especially when that expectation goes unrealized. living in the waiting. hoping in the waiting. being content in the waiting. those are all things in which I am unskilled. it's hard telling my heart to be patient; telling my mind to stop wondering; and telling myself to stop imagining things. but what if I'm not imagining things? what if what I've anticipated for so long is actually going to happen when I think it will?! on the other hand, what if my mind is playing tricks on me? what if I am playing mind games because I just really want this? this is the state in which I find myself living. in between the talking myself out of things and a flicker of hope. in between the trying to live in the moment and planning out the future. I find myself doing silly things like filing & painting my nails **just in case** & taking extra care to have my hair semi-done. what is this?! I am so thankful that I have a God that is so faithful and more sure than the sunrise. in Him I can rest, even if the expectation goes unrealized; even if I am disappointed. in Him I find peace & joy & contentment for today & tomorrow & every day after. this anticipation is just a reminder of the great anticipation of His coming... how I should live every day: preparing for His coming back... living in a way that honors & glorifies Him so that I might one day hear "well done." the anticipation for that day is great; even greater than the anticipation of anything on this earth. so even in this anticipation of something so fun I can be thankful for the reminder of an even greater anticipation. here's to the waiting, a new year, and great anticipation.
