what are you having?!

"what are you having?!?" it's the inevitable question I get from everyone who sees the bump, which gets more and more obvious by the day. it's quite amazing the wide variety of reactions I get when I tell people, "we will find out when Nugget arrives!" equally amazing is my ability not to quickly reply, "we're hoping it's a human, but who knows," in an incredibly sarcastic tone. people's immediate reaction seems to be some form of why, ranging from amazement to shock & horror. so, here are some answers to a few of your questions...

1. ally's family. I am the oldest of four kids. my parents only found out the gender with me (because they lived overseas back in the day). growing up, I loved the surprise and fun of not knowing whether I was going to have a little brother or a little sister come due date. I absolutely loved going to the hospital and finding out who we were bringing home! not finding out the gender of our first little takes me back to the excitement of those days!

2. I love surprises. yes, it's true: this type A-ish personality really does love surprises. I love planning surprises for other people, and I love being surprised. some might say (and have), "there are plenty of surprises coming your way, so you should just find out." this new, crazy adventure of parenthood is a complete mystery to us. I don't know what the future looks like at all, but I love getting to imagine different scenarios with a little son or a little daughter. the fact that there is a promise of more surprises along the way doesn't make me want to avoid this pretty amazing one!

3. the massive bows. I am not a massive bow person. it has been the style for little girls to wear massive bow headbands, many of which are bigger than the baby's head. everything in me wants to rescue the little girl from those things. the other thing that's just not my style: tutus. if we do end up having a daughter and she wants all the massive bows and tutus, I'm sure we will end up getting them for her. however, I know that if we were to find out ahead of time, that's all we would get a baby showers. people, we have a registry for a reason.

4. according to Michael, I'm anti-bandwagon. the fact that everyone else is doing something often makes me do the opposite. I like being different and, sometimes, I like that it drives other people crazy. so your reaction telling me I'm crazy or urging me to find out?? in a weird way, you are just re-affirming my position that it was a great decision to wait for the super fun surprise!

5. we are so excited either way! michael and I are just super excited to be welcoming this little life into the world, no matter what the gender. we don't have our hearts set either way where we would need time to prepare if it wasn't "what we wanted." we have names picked out for both genders, and we are so excited to meet Nugget when he/she arrives!!

6. we're still bonding with Nugget. the argument that people feel closer to their babies when they can call them by name is a total waste for me. maybe that's because this is our first, so it's all I know, BUT I pray for Nugget, talk to Nugget, dream about Nugget, etc. just like I would if I knew the gender and could do the same by a specific name we have chosen. calling this littles Nugget doesn't make him/her seem less like a real life to me because he/she is very much alive (and super active) and well inside me. next please.

7. yes, I'm still normal. not a day goes by that I don't "guess" what gender is growing inside of me. sometimes, if I'm feeling really crazy, I do all the old wives tales to see what those say **stay tuned for another fun post about these** but rather than driving me crazy, I actually find the not knowing part fun! **ok, so maybe that's not so normal...**

so there you have it, peoples. the reasons behind our decision to wait until Nugget arrives before finding out his/her gender. we think it's fun **even if it does drive you crazy**

more faithful than the rising sun

I know, I know... it's been awhile. honestly, there are so many reasons I haven't updated, but the main one is we are facing a lot of unknowns in the next 8 months. those unknowns can be super overwhelming at times, but we are trying to lean into the Lord and remind ourselves of His faithfulness. time and time again I find myself questioning His faithfulness because it seems like He doesn't hear and definitely isn't answering. 

as of right now, here are the "knowns": 
1) I graduate law school in May 2017 **insert all the praise hands here**
2) Nugget's arrival will (likely) happen sometime in the end of december or early january
3) I will (hopefully) be taking the texas bar exam July 2017

... and here are the scary unknowns:
1) the adventure partner's job after we move
2) a job for me after the bar exam
3) when to move to texas
4) where in texas to move
5) being parents (yeah... we're clueless)

however, the Lord is good and everything He does is good. why? because this past week He showed up and reminded me that He sees us and is still at work. He reminded me of His great, incredible faithfulness, even in the details. last monday, we had another little scary incident that landed me back in the doctor's office, wondering if we would meet Nugget a little lot earlier than planned. everything is looking good, and Nugget is still cooking, but the next step was for me to give up the stetson national pretrial competition I have been working so hard towards. how has that been a blessing? well, my stress level has gone down significantly, and I am able to breathe (and sleep) more throughout the week. next, on thursday, we had a law student organization day requiring me to dress up a little more than usual. I wore a dress that is a little more form-fitting than usual and people began noticing (for the first time) that I am pregnant. I had a sweet friend from school come up and offer to give us for FREE a bassinet, co-sleeper, Bumbo seat, and a couple of other things. **insert tears streaming down my face here** I had another couple offer to give us their gently-used infant carseat stroller system for $100. because I have been slightly freaking out about finances and all the things I have to get to prepare for Nugget, these things were such an incredible blessing. when I came home later that day, I felt as if the Lord was saying, "ally, I see you. I hear your prayers. trust that I have this." 

but it gets better... we Skyped Michael's parents who told us they are buying the crib mattress (we already have the crib) and bedding. and my parents told me they want to buy us the stroller from our friends and get us/me a jogging stroller.

as if that wasn't enough to get this preggo super emotional, Michael heard about a different position with Walmart that a) would get him off the overnight schedule **can we say, amen, praise Jesus?!** and b) be a much better fit for his giftings. he asked the higher ups about the position, and they agreed he would be a great fit and are chatting about the possibilities. 

all of that to say, God is good. all the time. even when I forget. He is more faithful than each sunrise, more steady than the mountains.

division

a year ago, I posted this photo outraged and saddened by this country's devaluing of human life. today, I post this photo again outraged and saddened by this country's failure to learn the should-be-simple truth that all people are created with incredible value, regardless of the color of their skin.

"Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter."

"Nothing in all the world is more dangerous than sincere ignorance and conscientious stupidity."

"Injustice anywhere is a threat to justice everywhere."

-Martin Luther King, Jr.

today I am sad. innocent lives lost this week. dads that won't be coming home to their children. sons who won't be coming home to their mothers. people who lost loved ones for unjustified reasons. 

that's what happened this week, not just last night in the Dallas shooting. it's all heartbreaking. heartbreaking to think that people still walk around in fear of others that don't look like them. heartbreaking that dear friends now flock to car dealerships because their broken taillights could cost them their lives. heartbreaking that people would kill others due to the color of their skin.

there is a phrase ringing through my head this morning, "divide and conquer." it's a simple strategy any soldier and athlete knows well because it works every time. if your opponent begins to fight themselves, they help you beat them. so why is division the go-to response? why is taking sides the answer? can we not all stand together against evil, no matter the color in which it comes? as believers, can we not mourn with all those who mourn this week? as believers, can we not stand for what is right in each and every circumstance?

if there is going to be change, it has to come from a realization that people have incredible value, no matter what the color of their skin. we are all created with this incredible value because we are made in the image of God. when did we forget this? why have we failed to teach others this simple truth??

"Darkness cannot drive out darkness; only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate; only love can do that."

"I have decided to stick with love. Hate is too great a burden to bear."

- Martin Luther King, Jr.

dear friends, let's stand together, speaking truth in love against injustice. let's stand together, teaching our children that all people are created with immense value. let's stand together, making a difference so that our children don't have to fear the unknown. let's stand together, calling out the evil and shining forth the light of truth. 

it's been a while | a year review

dear blog,

sorry it's been awhile. it's not like I didn't think of you... but every time I was reminded of you, I began to think about all the things I hadn't done this year. and today it hit me: the reason I started this blog was to chronicle adventures and be thankful for the every day things, not worry about all the things I'm not doing. this year has been a totally "normal" yet completely crazy year. it's one of those years where there are tons of things left on the to-do list and things on the "done & done" list aren't exactly what you set out to do. it was difficult, sweet, crazy, beautiful, and ridiculous all wrapped up in one. there was more than one time I thought about quitting everything, and, if I'm honest, that thought can linger in the background of my mind. however, it was also full of the biggest accomplishments ever, thanks to the Lord literally carrying me over the finish line of 2L year. so, here are some of my favorite moments, in no particular order, of 26:

1. getting married **duh
2. camping trip & hiking with sweet friends
3. shenandoah national park with Jmomma & Pod
4. adopting a sweet kitten **Dashiell Robert Haefner
5. growing with a sweet community group
6. teaching 3-5 year old crazies every Sunday
7. exploring downtown norfolk
8. rearranging our apartment *at least* 3 times
9. going to DC for a trial advocacy competition
10. *finally* watching all the harry potter movies 
11. celebrating so many friends & family weddings
12. best new years date ever
13. finishing 2L year **one more year, peoples!!!
14. Christmas eve at walmart & cracker barrel
15. an airbnb experience we can **now** laugh at
16. Mom & Chrissy coming to visit
17. Elaine's commissioning in Branson
18. baby gooselings at the apartment complex
19. the stuffed bell pepper incident
20. playing tennis with the adventure partner

**a little over** one full year later, and we are on to 27. there are a lot of big changes that are going to happen over this next year, and a lot of big decisions to make before they happen. but if we can make it through this past year, we can make it through this next one, trusting God's sweet timing and plan. cheers, 26. you were a good one.

officially a 2L

where in the world did this past year go? how did it all happen so quickly?! people told me it would fly by, but I had no idea just how fast it was really going to go. and now it's 2L year. well, I guess those people were right because this past year was the fastest year I've ever experienced. yet, while going through 1L, I had this strange feeling that certain days would never come and I would be stuck in this torment forever. now there is a new 1L class, and I'm so thankful I'm not in it.

it's still a mystery to me why the Lord's plan led me to law school; however, He has continued to confirm that this is exactly where He wants me right now. I'm so thankful that God is faithful and that He will reveal to me in His perfect timing what the next steps are, although sometimes **ok, all the time** my planner mind wants to know them now. BUT I get to focus on today, the first day of my 2L year.

what will be different about this year? well, tons actually. I joined the trial advocacy board, am taking classes that I chose, started working as a graduate assistant for an amazing professor, and am married. all of these things are so different from last year where I felt like I was treading water to stay afloat. this year, I'm certain there will be times where it feels like that... but I've been there before, and it seems less scary; not because I know how to navigate it better, but because I am confident the Lord will carry me through it. 

praise the Lord for His faithfulness, new beginnings, and the first day of school. happy monday, peoples!

{gratitude} lately

if you've read these ramblings for a little bit, you will know that I love list making. I am that over-zealous to-do list maker: one for the week, for the weekend, for each day, for the afternoon, etc. the list of the lists that I make go on **yes, I have a problem** some of my lists can leave me annoyed & frustrated with myself because they aren't complete or I have so much to do. but there is one type of list that always leaves me more full than before, and that, my friends, is the lists of things I'm thankful for lately:

1. this website & the daily truth it brings into my life;
2. this website & the way it challenges/encourages Michael James each day with truth;
3. time away last weekend with my adventure partner;
4. new textbooks that make me excited for a new semester;
5. long walks with sweet friends;
6. phone calls with family that are so far away;
7. getting to see God answer specific prayers;
8. daily grace from the mr;
9. legs that carry me through a 9-mile hike; and
10. a new norm

praise the Lord for His goodness, list making that leaves me more full, and school starting on monday. happy weekend, homies!

dear {wednesday}

dear wednesday,

this past weekend we went on a quick adventure. we hiked & climbed to our hearts content. we sat, took in beautiful views, and enjoyed time together. today marks the middle of my last week of freedom **from school** and with a mountain of to-do's & fun projects left, it's hard to be present in a single moment. part of me just wants to rewind back to this weekend right here, but the other part of me knows there is just as much beauty right in front of me now as there was then. there are beautiful moments in each day that make me sit, remember how small I am, and praise the Maker for them.

here's to beauty in the big & small. 
cheers, lovie.