an update {goals before 26}

goals. there is an amazing feeling when you actually accomplish goals that you have set out. if you are just joining **and maybe wondering about the strange blog name** this is where I set out goals for each birth-year. on May 12 of each year, I try to make a list of realistic goals for that year. it's been so cool to see how these goals drive me to do things I wouldn't have dreamed of, push me to accomplish big dreams, and help me live life to the full. however, when I turned 25 I would never have been able to guess all of the twists and crazy life turns that year brought! some of them were planned, others a complete surprise. so, here's my 25th year-review, brought to you by a goals review!

1. run two half-marathons - this one began nicely with the first happening at the end of august when I moved to virginia. I registered for the second one to run this past march in DC... and then all things law school, 1L, second semester happened. I loved this goal so much that I carried it over to this next year!! & this time, it will be accomplished!

2. standing splits & king cobra backbend - ok, well, it's safe to say I can't do either one of these. 1L was a little stressful & time consuming; it was a good day if I could fit in 20 minutes of exercise. this one might have been too lofty of a goal **insert face-palm here**

3. take a full day once per month to breathe & not think about school - check! this one actually morphed into a couple of half-days per month. first semester these were more restful, and then second semester they turned into crazed wedding-planning half-days. yeah, that was a twist I was definitely not expecting when I turned 25...

4. take an overnight trip alone - when I made this goal, I thought it would be a defining moment for my life, help me to see things I hadn't before, help me appreciate my independence a little more. two weeks after making these goals, I met a man. two weeks after that, I took a 10-hour road trip to louisville, ky to visit said man. a year later, we were married... that trip to kentucky might have been the most adventurous, "alone" trip that I took that year **ok, I mean, besides moving to virginia by myself**

5. wear high heels & dress nice whenever I feel like it - check, check, and check. I love the freedom that came from this goal! I had no idea what kind of mind obstacles were blocking me from feeling the freedom to dress how I wanted, when I wanted. you see, standing at 5'10.5" is a little intimidating for a girl, and then I wanted to add wearing heels?! what if I was the only one?! what if I became "that girl"?! oh goodness... that was so freeing to finally get over those thoughts and embrace my own style. sometimes all you need is to put on a great pair of shoes and some lipstick to tackle what seems like an impossible task

here's to goals: may we make them, may we grow from them, may we crush them. happy weekend, peoples!!

things I don't deserve

may 26, 2014: I was invited to have lunch and play sand volleyball by a man I had just met the day before. **unbeknownst to me** I crashed my now-brother-in-law's family birthday party. we ate cake, laughed, and played sand volleyball past dark. while I was trying to wash my feet off with the hose, this sweet man asked if he could help. I hesitated. in my mind was this conversation: "oh that's sweet", "does he not think I can do this myself?", "he is trying to help you", "but you don't need his help"... and after realizing he was staring at me waiting for an answer, I slowly handed him the hose and blurted out, "sometimes it's hard for me to accept help." he smiled and tenderly washed my feet.

fastforward to now and that tender, servant-hearted man is my adventure partner for life. he washed my feet at our wedding because that's how he fell for me and because he wanted to begin our marriage in the servant-love shown by Jesus to His disciples. yet it didn't stop there. with each day that passes I am blown away that I get to call this man "husband." he works incredibly hard. he encourages me to love others well, lean into Jesus, and transform my mind through memorizing scripture. he washes dishes, hangs pictures, orders pizza when I don't feel like cooking, builds shelves, and extends me grace daily. what did I do to deserve this kind of love? nothing. and still...

praise the Lord for His goodness, His mercy, and His love that I get to be reminded of daily through one of His beautiful gifts to me: my Michael James.

happy {monday}

oh the monday struggle.

there are two different species of mondays for me: 1) the "I'm dreading this week" and "weekend withdrawal" monday and 2) the "uber productive", "watch out to-do list" monday. as I sit here this morning, third cup of coffee in hand, I am still waiting to find out which monday is today. there is a mountain of to-do's, reading lists that keep piling up, thank-you notes to be written, and a beach calling my name. luckily, the threat of not having any "extra" time after class begins in three-ish weeks is just the motivation I need to give me a little extra this morning. **and yet I still need three cups of coffee. yikes**

here's to slow sundays, long walks, and the to-do list hustle.

**also, for the best breakfast hash recipe EVER go here. promise you won't be disappointed**

adventures {san diego edition}

our first adventure was a honeymoon-week right after the wedding to san diego, california. not exactly the all-inclusive place most people would want to go, so here is why we chose it: 1. we both like to experience and explore new places. we knew going out of the country to a nice resort would be luxurious, but we wanted to be able to get out and explore if/when we wanted! 2. we are lovers of all things local and knew we would really want to eat where the locals eat, do what the locals do, and really know the place we were going. 3. neither of us speak a different language, so in order to experience a new place, it needed to be an english-speaking destination. 4. we wanted to go somewhere that would be nice, but not a once-in-a-lifetime place. we wanted to go somewhere that we could go back to on future anniversaries and bring family.... put all of that together **plus some exploring on pinterest** and you get san diego, california.

it was beautiful. my man and the city. san diego, your city is filled with beautiful souls that loved us well, filled our bellies, and made us crave you all the time. you gave us wonderful sunsets, beautiful cliff beaches, amazing wine in the hills, a full day exploring the best zoo, and a trolley tour with tons of personality. to say we can't wait to return is an understatement. 

things we highly recommend:

- lunch/dinner: barefoot bar & grill (get the bread pudding for dessert. just do it), taco stand, caveman pizza (we recommend getting a cheese-less/extra sauce pizza bcuz it's worth it), & tidal (where the first pic of the mr was taken)

-breakfast/BRUNCH: fig tree cafe (you can't go wrong here), the cottage, & the mission **y'all, brunch is hands-down the best meal of the day**

- places to see: San Diego Zoo, Windansea Beach, Old Towne Trolley Tour, Coronado Island,  & Orfela Vineyard

june 13, 2015

the day Michael James became my adventure partner for life was one for the books. that whole weekend, starting thursday, was nothing short of amazing. thursday lunch was the last "not married" date for Michael & I... bbq tacos, crepes, and a side of pep-talk was much needed with my man. thursday night, all of my closest girlfriends got together for dinner, dancing, and one big sleepover! it was almost overwhelming to have dear heart friends from different times of life together in one place, enjoying each other's company and sharing tons of stories.

with friday came getting nails done with these girls, writing notes, being late to the rehearsal **oops** and the best rehearsal dinner I could have ever dreamed of **ok, I may be biased** we had our rehearsal dinner at AQ Chicken House in springdale, which was extra special because that's where Michael's parents' had their rehearsal dinner. we ate amazing food, were entertained by Brandon's mr bhs dance piece **insert side-splitting laughter here**, shared more stories, and shed tons of happy-tears **its like a pre-req to being in the haefner fam**

after rehearsal dinner, I kept with tradition and had a sleepover with the OOC girls, julie and shana, aka: best matrons of honor ever. period. we drank wine **minus prego Shan**, pillow-talked, and dreamed about our future family vacations. then I woke up and it was saturday. the day was a blur between hanging with sweet girlfriends, curling hair, getting makeup done, and before I knew it, six o'clock was here. the day was what dreams are made of: from the venue, to the amazing florist, to-die for cake, and perfect photographers... with the help of these amazing people, the best families two people could ask for, and dear friendships, we were able to begin this crazy, new adventure of following the Lord together as one.

here's to family, friends, and #haefnerforever.

{gratitude} lately

comparing: to estimate, measure, or note the similarities or differences between; the act of doing which can (and will) steal your contentment

-Webster's (commentary by me)

comparison is a funny thing. sometimes it can be helpful, like in comparing the ingredients needed to make chocolate chip cookies with what you have on hand, or in comparing your packing list to what is actually in your suitcase. however, there are many times when comparison just steals contentment, like in comparing your life to someone else's, your marriage to someone else's, your dreams to someone else's, your summer to their summer, your body to theirs **see where I'm going with this?**

when I begin to compare myself to others, in any way, I am left with emptiness, guilt, jealousy, and discontentment... all of which make me forget that I am not them, and they are not me. I was created for a specific purpose (psalm 139), with a specific design. my story will not **and does not** look like the others, and that is the beauty of each and every person. so instead of comparing, today I am choosing to be thankful. and because I like **ok, love** list-making, here is what I'm thankful for {lately}

1. time for creative refueling

2. daily reminders that I am not in control

3. blank canvases & empty walls begging to be filled & designed

4. days full of card games

5. learning new things

6. an adventure partner with zero inhibitions

here's to daily reminders of truth, hawaiian shirts, and the beauty of gratitude. happy monday, loves!

struggle bus {wedding planning part 2}

alright, so I didn't post this when I said I would **oops** but getting a little space from the wedding has helped me process this second, big, wedding planning struggle. this was a massive struggle I lived with from january sixth through the wedding and for a month after! it affected the way I interacted with people, my inner thought life, and my walk with Jesus... what could this ginormous struggle have been? oh, it's just selfishness. 

yeah, yeah, you're thinking, "really, that's your big struggle?!" or "you'll struggle with that your whole life, kid." but seriously, people, this hit full force during the wedding season! people build this season up so much for girls. it's "your BIG day! you should have whatever you want! you're the PRINCESS!" it's actually quite unreal the way those thoughts played in the back of my mind; constantly trying to be happy and celebrate with others, but wondering why my "said yes to the dress" didn't get posted on the shop's page, why my engagement pictures weren't blogged about, or why there weren't as many "oohs" and "ahhs" over things I DIY'ed at the wedding? am I not cute enough? did people hate my wedding? meanwhile, I made tons of decisions that basically revolved around me: my hair, my makeup, my bridesmaids, my nails, my food, my week-of schedule, etc. ugh, it's kind of gross even admitting this was in my head, but it was. 

about two weeks prior to the wedding I had enough of me. I didn't like how distracted I was from the whole reason behind this wonderful day in the first place! praise the Lord for sweet, gentle reminders of what the wedding is all about: celebrating what God has done, is doing, and will do in & through Michael & I; celebrating His unfailing, steadfast love; and sharing His beautifully written story with people we love!

here's to less of me and more of Him!