lately

we are one week past Nugget's due date and counting. if you've texted me for an update, my likely response has been #stillpregnant. while some days are much more difficult than others, there are a lot of things I am thankful for about being 41 weeks pregnant...

1. my mom is now in town **insert all the leg kicks here**
2. extra time to get some online class work done
3. extra time to clean and get (even more) organized
4. an extra ultrasound & a perceptive doctor
5. getting an appointment with a pediatric urologist for a small concern with one kidney
6. being forced to really trust the Lord's timing/plan
7. extra time to pray over Nugget
8. sweet community who has loved on & prayed for us this past week
9. the Lord's patience with my roller-coaster feelings
10. the sweetest man to do this all alongside

here's to **trying** to focus on this list rather than the discomfort and longing to meet this little one. sweet Nugget, we are so ready to meet you!

dear due date

dear due date,

well, you were monday... as in 3 days ago. since seeing those two pink lines on may 1st, we've been counting down the days until you with the hope expectation that you would be the day we met little Nugget. however, that has (obviously) not been the case. on monday, I was pissed at you, and it took me longer than I'd care to admit to process through bitterness at not having met this little life. it's now thursday, and I'm feeling all the feels: thankful we made it this far after early scares, frustrated you didn't bring what you promised, discomfort & physical pain because 40+ weeks with an 8 pounder, and excitement that any day could be the day. while I sort of prepared myself for Nugget to arrive late, my actual expectation was that you would be the last possible day I would meet him/her. with each contraction that passes **because I've had them for the past month**, I become more cynical and frustrated with myself for ever having that expectation.

if I'm honest, my bitterness towards you comes and goes. I'm semi-grateful for the way you have made me look forward to labor starting, for being able to knock out some online class assignments, and for a few good walks each day since you've passed. but let's be honest, I'd rather you have brought about Nugget than these other things.

for the past few mornings I've had to remind myself of psalm 139:16... 

"Your eyes have seen my unformed substance;

and in Your book were all written the days that were ordained for me,

when as yet there was not one of them."

that last phrase, "when as yet there was not one of them," gets me every time. with each day that passes I'm reminded of God's perfect plan for Nugget's life, even if that means I don't get to meet him/her quite yet. this truth is good and hard at the same time. my patience is tested each morning I wake up and labor hasn't even begun to say hi. however, God is good, even in this season of waiting for this little one to arrive; even through the discomfort; even if Nugget stays put for the long-haul until being induced on the 19th. **yes, as in one week from today. woof** 

sincerely,

over you.

waiting {nugget edition}

taken at 32 weeks... there's no way I'm getting into a dress & heals now.

well, we are three days away from our due date, january 9. this wednesday the doctor told me that Nugget is definitely going to be taking his/her sweet time and began discussing the "what if's" of inducing. woof. this season of waiting is unlike any other time, yet so similar to other times of waiting. actually, love the past few days I've been reminded of another waiting period as I try to put into words the feelings of this one...

two years ago today, Michael proposed to me, but the days leading up to that proposal were full of mind tricks, anticipation, and, honestly, frustration. I was so annoyed when things didn't happen when I though they would, but when he proposed, it was as if the Lord just said, "I told you I had this." one thing of which I am convinced: God's timing is always better than my own.

this waiting for Nugget's arrival is a little different than Michael's proposal because we will definitely meet Nugget in the next week and a half... but it could also happen at any time. honestly, I would much rather this happen sooner rather than later for multiple reasons: 1. I'm so over being pregnant; 2. I can't wait to see this little one's face and get to know his/her personality; and 3. I would like to avoid all the medical interventions that would likely have to happen if we were induced. however, I know that God's timing is way more perfect than my own. God knows this little life inside of me; He has been knitting Nugget together inside of me for the past 9 months. He has planned out each and every one of Nugget's days already... "when as yet there was not one of them." **see Psalm 139** trusting the Lord's timing has never been a strength of mine; however, I am thankful that God has given me His Holy Spirit, who is building this trust inside of me. that's the beauty behind the waiting: I'm not in this alone. the Lord is with me every step of the way, helping me to take each step in trusting His perfect plan. 

hopefully I will have news in the next week about our first time meeting Nugget, but until then, see ya, loves!

one year later {mk edition}

last year, I started a journey with mary kay. I'm not a salesperson by nature, so I mainly just sell to myself, my gran, and my mother in law **thanks, ladies** I started because within a week of just using one of my favorite products **see #4 below**, I could tell an immediate difference in my skin. I dove in, & after a year of using a bunch of different mary kay products, I decided why not share what I've learned here?! I'm not sharing so that you'll buy from me or anything, but because skin care & skin issues can be super frustrating **trust this girl who knows the struggle of adult acne** and why not help a sister (or brother) out by reviewing some of the products I actually use. so, here are my absolute favs of some of the products I've used (and a few that just didn't cut it):

1. clearproof acne treatment gel. (aka: my secret acne ninja) this stuff is miraculous. it's a spot treatment, so it's not a put all over your face kind of product. this little miracle worker literally kicks acne's a$$... I can have a blemish arise in the morning, put this stuff on it, and it will be gone by noon. the tougher blemishes? gone within a day or two. without this stuff, I would have blemishes that stuck around for days or even a week! this product definitely gets two thumbs up!!! however, it is a bit drying, so it definitely needs to be followed by a good moisturizer. 

2. satin hands. this system is a pregnancy must-have for me. in fact, my friends who get pregnant will receive the fragrance-free version from me because it is simply amazing. I use it when I have dry hands, when I need a manicure, when I need a pedicure **yes, you can use it on things other than your hands**, when I just need some extra pampering, etc. my favorite is to use it as an at-home pedicure followed with #3 below or on my growing stomach followed up with Vaseline Intensive Moisture Lotion **I'm not for certain, but I do think this has been a huge help in me not getting any stretch marks on my stomach so far**

3. mint bliss energizing lotion for feet. alright, let's be serious, mint plus moisturizing foot lotion plus comfy socks? I mean, it doesn't get much better than this for at-home pampering. this product is a little more oily than the hand creme included in satin hands, so I wouldn't recommend it for other body parts; however, it's perfect for softening the rough spots on your feet! this is definitely another pregnancy must-have for me as well as a summer must-have because it's cheaper in the long run than getting a bunch of pedicures **you're welcome, Michael**

4. timewise matte-wear foundation. ok, because of my adult-acne issues, I've never been a fan of any foundation for longer than maybe a month or two. I always had issues with not enough coverage or great coverage that caused breakouts. this product is a liquid foundation, and it was the first MK product I bought. I instantly loved it, but then, after a week of using it every day, I noticed my skin was actually softer than before I used it. honestly, this product convinced me that investing in the skin care side of MK was worth it! over the past year, I also experimented with other MK foundations: cc cream and mineral powder. neither one of those is my favorite for my skin-type (normal to oily): the cc cream was too oily and the mineral powder was not enough coverage. I did, however, experiment this summer and found that using concealer with mineral powder foundation over it wasn't a bad option. BUT, honestly, I went back to using this liquid matte-wear foundation, and it really just is my favorite. you don't have to use a whole lot for a good amount of coverage. it's build-able, and it doesn't make me breakout after wearing it all day. win, win, win!!

5. foundation primer. primers and I have had a love-hate relationship. before MK, I had a primer that I liked simply because it made my face look really great for special occasions; however, the next day my face would break out major because it clogged up my pores **worst** so, when I was told to try out this foundation primer, I was skeptical that it would do the exact same. I use this product every day I wear makeup! it helps my makeup go on evenly, makes you not have to use as much foundation for a good amount of coverage, helps your makeup stay-put all day, and it doesn't make me break out!!! bonus: it even has a little spf to protect your skin throughout the day.

after this year, I've learned a lot about skincare, and, honestly, I can tell a huge difference in the appearance of my skin. blemishes heal faster. I have fewer acne scars. my skin looks smoother. the tone of my skin is more even. these products worked for me, which is kind of really exciting because I pretty much tried everything else before! there are a couple of products that I am going to be putting to the test over the next 6 months, so be sure to keep watching for those updates! if you have any questions or just want to talk skincare, don't hesitate to reach out! I know the struggles and would love to share more of my journey with you!

the year of change {2017}

2016 was a fun & challenging year. two trial competitions, getting appointed vice chairwoman of the trial advocacy board, finding out we are pregnant, Michael getting promoted and then working overnights for over 6 months, summer classes during the first trimester, rearranging our apartment a million times to make room for Nugget, reading all the baby books, a crazy fall semester, too many hospital trips,  and finishing off with our first holiday with family since getting married. we packed a ton into this past year, and I'm so thankful for all the craziness!

it's also a little hard to imagine how we could pack more into one year than we did this past year, but 2017 promises to be a big big year for this haefner family. there are a lot of knowns and a lot of unknowns as we begin this crazy adventure of a year. focusing on the unknowns can be a little overwhelming, but we are confident that nothing in this upcoming year is a surprise to the Lord. so, instead of focusing on the unknowns, I decided to make a list **typical, I know** of 10 things I'm looking forward to in 2017:

1. meeting & getting to know Nugget **hopefully very soon**
2. graduating law school
3. getting back into running & yoga
4. may's cross-country move to texas
5. living WAY closer to family **insert all the shimmies & fist pumps here**
6. wearing normal (non-maternity) clothes
7. seeing Michael as a dad
8. being done with the bar exam
9. adventuring as a family of three
10. non-retail hours for Michael

2017, we ready. cheers.

goals, goals, goals

so I've been waiting to share this list of goals because of our fun, exciting, sweet announcement we made in july.... and then I forgot to actually post this. oops. gonna go ahead and blame that on pregnancy brain. for those who don't know **or maybe just don't remember** I began making a goals-list for each birth year when a roommate once asked me what my goals were before I turned 25. fast forward a few years later, and the tradition is going strong! there are always things that go unaccomplished because life is a funny, unpredictable thing; however, it's always fun to start a year with something to focus on and chase after! here's my list for 27:

1. workout 3-4 times per week. while this might seem like a small goal to some, with the complete lack of time I had this last year, I need a realistic goal in this area to keep me going and healthy in the midst of a very full schedule.

2. put together a nursery-nook. gender-neutral **because we aren't finding out what it is until nugget arrives**. one-bedroom apartment. law books for dayz. big dreams. a love/hate relationship with pinterest. this is what I'm working with, peoples.

3. intentional dates. set aside time for one intentional date per week. no phones. no agendas. just sweet time together.

4. read 5 non-school related books. I loved this goal so much last year, I think I'll do it again.

5. put together 2 photo-books. one from our wedding, and one for our first year together. **ok, yes, I'm a little behind**

6. write consistently on the memory calendar. this was one of the best wedding gifts we received: a calendar that has the day on it plus a bunch of empty spaces for you to fill in the year & a small, fun memory from that day. 

some other big things that will happen **Lord willingly** before 28: graduate from law school, become a mama, & figuring out our next big move. tons of big changes. look out, 27, you're gonna be a big one!

what are you having?!

"what are you having?!?" it's the inevitable question I get from everyone who sees the bump, which gets more and more obvious by the day. it's quite amazing the wide variety of reactions I get when I tell people, "we will find out when Nugget arrives!" equally amazing is my ability not to quickly reply, "we're hoping it's a human, but who knows," in an incredibly sarcastic tone. people's immediate reaction seems to be some form of why, ranging from amazement to shock & horror. so, here are some answers to a few of your questions...

1. ally's family. I am the oldest of four kids. my parents only found out the gender with me (because they lived overseas back in the day). growing up, I loved the surprise and fun of not knowing whether I was going to have a little brother or a little sister come due date. I absolutely loved going to the hospital and finding out who we were bringing home! not finding out the gender of our first little takes me back to the excitement of those days!

2. I love surprises. yes, it's true: this type A-ish personality really does love surprises. I love planning surprises for other people, and I love being surprised. some might say (and have), "there are plenty of surprises coming your way, so you should just find out." this new, crazy adventure of parenthood is a complete mystery to us. I don't know what the future looks like at all, but I love getting to imagine different scenarios with a little son or a little daughter. the fact that there is a promise of more surprises along the way doesn't make me want to avoid this pretty amazing one!

3. the massive bows. I am not a massive bow person. it has been the style for little girls to wear massive bow headbands, many of which are bigger than the baby's head. everything in me wants to rescue the little girl from those things. the other thing that's just not my style: tutus. if we do end up having a daughter and she wants all the massive bows and tutus, I'm sure we will end up getting them for her. however, I know that if we were to find out ahead of time, that's all we would get a baby showers. people, we have a registry for a reason.

4. according to Michael, I'm anti-bandwagon. the fact that everyone else is doing something often makes me do the opposite. I like being different and, sometimes, I like that it drives other people crazy. so your reaction telling me I'm crazy or urging me to find out?? in a weird way, you are just re-affirming my position that it was a great decision to wait for the super fun surprise!

5. we are so excited either way! michael and I are just super excited to be welcoming this little life into the world, no matter what the gender. we don't have our hearts set either way where we would need time to prepare if it wasn't "what we wanted." we have names picked out for both genders, and we are so excited to meet Nugget when he/she arrives!!

6. we're still bonding with Nugget. the argument that people feel closer to their babies when they can call them by name is a total waste for me. maybe that's because this is our first, so it's all I know, BUT I pray for Nugget, talk to Nugget, dream about Nugget, etc. just like I would if I knew the gender and could do the same by a specific name we have chosen. calling this littles Nugget doesn't make him/her seem less like a real life to me because he/she is very much alive (and super active) and well inside me. next please.

7. yes, I'm still normal. not a day goes by that I don't "guess" what gender is growing inside of me. sometimes, if I'm feeling really crazy, I do all the old wives tales to see what those say **stay tuned for another fun post about these** but rather than driving me crazy, I actually find the not knowing part fun! **ok, so maybe that's not so normal...**

so there you have it, peoples. the reasons behind our decision to wait until Nugget arrives before finding out his/her gender. we think it's fun **even if it does drive you crazy**

more faithful than the rising sun

I know, I know... it's been awhile. honestly, there are so many reasons I haven't updated, but the main one is we are facing a lot of unknowns in the next 8 months. those unknowns can be super overwhelming at times, but we are trying to lean into the Lord and remind ourselves of His faithfulness. time and time again I find myself questioning His faithfulness because it seems like He doesn't hear and definitely isn't answering. 

as of right now, here are the "knowns": 
1) I graduate law school in May 2017 **insert all the praise hands here**
2) Nugget's arrival will (likely) happen sometime in the end of december or early january
3) I will (hopefully) be taking the texas bar exam July 2017

... and here are the scary unknowns:
1) the adventure partner's job after we move
2) a job for me after the bar exam
3) when to move to texas
4) where in texas to move
5) being parents (yeah... we're clueless)

however, the Lord is good and everything He does is good. why? because this past week He showed up and reminded me that He sees us and is still at work. He reminded me of His great, incredible faithfulness, even in the details. last monday, we had another little scary incident that landed me back in the doctor's office, wondering if we would meet Nugget a little lot earlier than planned. everything is looking good, and Nugget is still cooking, but the next step was for me to give up the stetson national pretrial competition I have been working so hard towards. how has that been a blessing? well, my stress level has gone down significantly, and I am able to breathe (and sleep) more throughout the week. next, on thursday, we had a law student organization day requiring me to dress up a little more than usual. I wore a dress that is a little more form-fitting than usual and people began noticing (for the first time) that I am pregnant. I had a sweet friend from school come up and offer to give us for FREE a bassinet, co-sleeper, Bumbo seat, and a couple of other things. **insert tears streaming down my face here** I had another couple offer to give us their gently-used infant carseat stroller system for $100. because I have been slightly freaking out about finances and all the things I have to get to prepare for Nugget, these things were such an incredible blessing. when I came home later that day, I felt as if the Lord was saying, "ally, I see you. I hear your prayers. trust that I have this." 

but it gets better... we Skyped Michael's parents who told us they are buying the crib mattress (we already have the crib) and bedding. and my parents told me they want to buy us the stroller from our friends and get us/me a jogging stroller.

as if that wasn't enough to get this preggo super emotional, Michael heard about a different position with Walmart that a) would get him off the overnight schedule **can we say, amen, praise Jesus?!** and b) be a much better fit for his giftings. he asked the higher ups about the position, and they agreed he would be a great fit and are chatting about the possibilities. 

all of that to say, God is good. all the time. even when I forget. He is more faithful than each sunrise, more steady than the mountains.

division

a year ago, I posted this photo outraged and saddened by this country's devaluing of human life. today, I post this photo again outraged and saddened by this country's failure to learn the should-be-simple truth that all people are created with incredible value, regardless of the color of their skin.

"Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter."

"Nothing in all the world is more dangerous than sincere ignorance and conscientious stupidity."

"Injustice anywhere is a threat to justice everywhere."

-Martin Luther King, Jr.

today I am sad. innocent lives lost this week. dads that won't be coming home to their children. sons who won't be coming home to their mothers. people who lost loved ones for unjustified reasons. 

that's what happened this week, not just last night in the Dallas shooting. it's all heartbreaking. heartbreaking to think that people still walk around in fear of others that don't look like them. heartbreaking that dear friends now flock to car dealerships because their broken taillights could cost them their lives. heartbreaking that people would kill others due to the color of their skin.

there is a phrase ringing through my head this morning, "divide and conquer." it's a simple strategy any soldier and athlete knows well because it works every time. if your opponent begins to fight themselves, they help you beat them. so why is division the go-to response? why is taking sides the answer? can we not all stand together against evil, no matter the color in which it comes? as believers, can we not mourn with all those who mourn this week? as believers, can we not stand for what is right in each and every circumstance?

if there is going to be change, it has to come from a realization that people have incredible value, no matter what the color of their skin. we are all created with this incredible value because we are made in the image of God. when did we forget this? why have we failed to teach others this simple truth??

"Darkness cannot drive out darkness; only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate; only love can do that."

"I have decided to stick with love. Hate is too great a burden to bear."

- Martin Luther King, Jr.

dear friends, let's stand together, speaking truth in love against injustice. let's stand together, teaching our children that all people are created with immense value. let's stand together, making a difference so that our children don't have to fear the unknown. let's stand together, calling out the evil and shining forth the light of truth. 

it's been a while | a year review

dear blog,

sorry it's been awhile. it's not like I didn't think of you... but every time I was reminded of you, I began to think about all the things I hadn't done this year. and today it hit me: the reason I started this blog was to chronicle adventures and be thankful for the every day things, not worry about all the things I'm not doing. this year has been a totally "normal" yet completely crazy year. it's one of those years where there are tons of things left on the to-do list and things on the "done & done" list aren't exactly what you set out to do. it was difficult, sweet, crazy, beautiful, and ridiculous all wrapped up in one. there was more than one time I thought about quitting everything, and, if I'm honest, that thought can linger in the background of my mind. however, it was also full of the biggest accomplishments ever, thanks to the Lord literally carrying me over the finish line of 2L year. so, here are some of my favorite moments, in no particular order, of 26:

1. getting married **duh
2. camping trip & hiking with sweet friends
3. shenandoah national park with Jmomma & Pod
4. adopting a sweet kitten **Dashiell Robert Haefner
5. growing with a sweet community group
6. teaching 3-5 year old crazies every Sunday
7. exploring downtown norfolk
8. rearranging our apartment *at least* 3 times
9. going to DC for a trial advocacy competition
10. *finally* watching all the harry potter movies 
11. celebrating so many friends & family weddings
12. best new years date ever
13. finishing 2L year **one more year, peoples!!!
14. Christmas eve at walmart & cracker barrel
15. an airbnb experience we can **now** laugh at
16. Mom & Chrissy coming to visit
17. Elaine's commissioning in Branson
18. baby gooselings at the apartment complex
19. the stuffed bell pepper incident
20. playing tennis with the adventure partner

**a little over** one full year later, and we are on to 27. there are a lot of big changes that are going to happen over this next year, and a lot of big decisions to make before they happen. but if we can make it through this past year, we can make it through this next one, trusting God's sweet timing and plan. cheers, 26. you were a good one.

officially a 2L

where in the world did this past year go? how did it all happen so quickly?! people told me it would fly by, but I had no idea just how fast it was really going to go. and now it's 2L year. well, I guess those people were right because this past year was the fastest year I've ever experienced. yet, while going through 1L, I had this strange feeling that certain days would never come and I would be stuck in this torment forever. now there is a new 1L class, and I'm so thankful I'm not in it.

it's still a mystery to me why the Lord's plan led me to law school; however, He has continued to confirm that this is exactly where He wants me right now. I'm so thankful that God is faithful and that He will reveal to me in His perfect timing what the next steps are, although sometimes **ok, all the time** my planner mind wants to know them now. BUT I get to focus on today, the first day of my 2L year.

what will be different about this year? well, tons actually. I joined the trial advocacy board, am taking classes that I chose, started working as a graduate assistant for an amazing professor, and am married. all of these things are so different from last year where I felt like I was treading water to stay afloat. this year, I'm certain there will be times where it feels like that... but I've been there before, and it seems less scary; not because I know how to navigate it better, but because I am confident the Lord will carry me through it. 

praise the Lord for His faithfulness, new beginnings, and the first day of school. happy monday, peoples!

{gratitude} lately

if you've read these ramblings for a little bit, you will know that I love list making. I am that over-zealous to-do list maker: one for the week, for the weekend, for each day, for the afternoon, etc. the list of the lists that I make go on **yes, I have a problem** some of my lists can leave me annoyed & frustrated with myself because they aren't complete or I have so much to do. but there is one type of list that always leaves me more full than before, and that, my friends, is the lists of things I'm thankful for lately:

1. this website & the daily truth it brings into my life;
2. this website & the way it challenges/encourages Michael James each day with truth;
3. time away last weekend with my adventure partner;
4. new textbooks that make me excited for a new semester;
5. long walks with sweet friends;
6. phone calls with family that are so far away;
7. getting to see God answer specific prayers;
8. daily grace from the mr;
9. legs that carry me through a 9-mile hike; and
10. a new norm

praise the Lord for His goodness, list making that leaves me more full, and school starting on monday. happy weekend, homies!

dear {wednesday}

dear wednesday,

this past weekend we went on a quick adventure. we hiked & climbed to our hearts content. we sat, took in beautiful views, and enjoyed time together. today marks the middle of my last week of freedom **from school** and with a mountain of to-do's & fun projects left, it's hard to be present in a single moment. part of me just wants to rewind back to this weekend right here, but the other part of me knows there is just as much beauty right in front of me now as there was then. there are beautiful moments in each day that make me sit, remember how small I am, and praise the Maker for them.

here's to beauty in the big & small. 
cheers, lovie.

roadtrip + refuel

today, Michael James & I are leaving for a weekend away. we will eat good food & drink good wine. we will hike stunning trails, picnic at scenic lookouts, and jump in cold water. we will have deep conversation, play fun games, and put our phones on airplane mode. we will relax, rest, and refuel. 

here's to living close to the mountains, meeting new friends, and peanut butter honey sandwiches for the road! happy weekend, homies!

life

life: the condition that distinguishes animals and plants from inorganic matter, including the capacity for growth, reproduction, functional activity, and continual change preceding death; the existence of an individual human being or animal

- Webster's Dictionary

most of the time I try to stay away from hot-button "political" topics on social media because I don't think it ever produces anything helpful. it merely invites people to make noise, call each other idiots, and creates confusion. it rarely ever brings light to a subject and rarely do people ever listen. however, in light of the videos that have come out over the past few weeks, I cannot sit in silence. I cannot idly watch the "debate" unfold. as a believer, I am called to faithfully and lovingly speak truth into the darkness (proverbs 27:5-6). it would be one of the most unloving things for me to just sit in silence in the wake of this mess.

one of the most interesting things I've seen from the pro-choice side is a graphic with a picture of a woman, an animal, and a sonogram of a baby. it asks: life? animal (yes), sonogram of baby (yes), and woman (meh). underneath this graphic is a statement proclaiming that if you are an educated woman and also pro-life, you should throw all of your education, rights, and independence in the trash because you clearly do not value any of those things. 

I am a woman; I value my right to vote; I deeply value the education I have been able to receive and am continuing to receive; and, I stand for life. 

I also have a tendency to believe lies; lies that lead to decisions that lead to heartache and brokenness. I believe that lie that God is holding out on me; that if He really loved me, He would want me to be happy; if He really loved me, He would give me what I wanted (see Genesis 3 & the original sin). early in college I doubted His goodness, took matters into my own hands, and didn't wait for His gift of sex in His timing. I took it out of the context of marriage and was left empty, broken, and hurting. in God's goodness, He did not allow me to get pregnant and have a "choice"; although, that was a time in my life I might have chosen what is now unthinkable in my mind. I cannot pretend that choosing life is always an easy decision; in fact, I realize it can be incredibly hard & always life-changing. I realize there are circumstances and situations involving rape, abuse, and heartache. however, God redeems even the hardest of circumstances. He is sovereign, and His plans, although rarely easy & pain-free, are always good, pleasing, and perfect. psalm 139 tells us that He loves us and has a plan for our lives before we are even born! before I was born, before you were born, before they are born, He loves us. 

so what am I saying? God loves, cherishes, and values each and every life, no matter how small or seemingly insignificant. we all make mistakes, and He loves us still. He redeems broken stories, like mine, and makes beautiful pictures of His grace and mercy we can share with others. we were each created on purpose, for a purpose. these babies' lives matter. there are other choices besides abortion. please don't sit silently in the midst of this great darkness; join me in lovingly spreading the light of the truth.

{monday} to-do list

on this week's to-do's: 

1. figure out bedroom
2. pack the last box for storage
3. {more} laundry
4. pack for weekend get-away to Shenandoah National Park
5. read tons
6. organize desk area
... & counting

as this week's to-do list continues to grow, I am reminded that two weeks from today will be my first day of the second year of law school. just a year ago, I had just moved to Virginia and was settling in, getting to know new roommates, and beginning this crazy journey of law school. I had no idea what I was getting myself into, and honestly, still don't... but I am so incredibly thankful for God's goodness & for His good, pleasing, and perfect plan **even if it wasn't what I thought was good, pleasing, and perfect** I am also thankful for a chance to unplug and recharge this coming weekend with a fun road trip & new adventure with the mr.

here's to exploring new places, airplane mode on phones, and quality time! happy monday, peoples!

an update {goals before 26}

goals. there is an amazing feeling when you actually accomplish goals that you have set out. if you are just joining **and maybe wondering about the strange blog name** this is where I set out goals for each birth-year. on May 12 of each year, I try to make a list of realistic goals for that year. it's been so cool to see how these goals drive me to do things I wouldn't have dreamed of, push me to accomplish big dreams, and help me live life to the full. however, when I turned 25 I would never have been able to guess all of the twists and crazy life turns that year brought! some of them were planned, others a complete surprise. so, here's my 25th year-review, brought to you by a goals review!

1. run two half-marathons - this one began nicely with the first happening at the end of august when I moved to virginia. I registered for the second one to run this past march in DC... and then all things law school, 1L, second semester happened. I loved this goal so much that I carried it over to this next year!! & this time, it will be accomplished!

2. standing splits & king cobra backbend - ok, well, it's safe to say I can't do either one of these. 1L was a little stressful & time consuming; it was a good day if I could fit in 20 minutes of exercise. this one might have been too lofty of a goal **insert face-palm here**

3. take a full day once per month to breathe & not think about school - check! this one actually morphed into a couple of half-days per month. first semester these were more restful, and then second semester they turned into crazed wedding-planning half-days. yeah, that was a twist I was definitely not expecting when I turned 25...

4. take an overnight trip alone - when I made this goal, I thought it would be a defining moment for my life, help me to see things I hadn't before, help me appreciate my independence a little more. two weeks after making these goals, I met a man. two weeks after that, I took a 10-hour road trip to louisville, ky to visit said man. a year later, we were married... that trip to kentucky might have been the most adventurous, "alone" trip that I took that year **ok, I mean, besides moving to virginia by myself**

5. wear high heels & dress nice whenever I feel like it - check, check, and check. I love the freedom that came from this goal! I had no idea what kind of mind obstacles were blocking me from feeling the freedom to dress how I wanted, when I wanted. you see, standing at 5'10.5" is a little intimidating for a girl, and then I wanted to add wearing heels?! what if I was the only one?! what if I became "that girl"?! oh goodness... that was so freeing to finally get over those thoughts and embrace my own style. sometimes all you need is to put on a great pair of shoes and some lipstick to tackle what seems like an impossible task

here's to goals: may we make them, may we grow from them, may we crush them. happy weekend, peoples!!

things I don't deserve

may 26, 2014: I was invited to have lunch and play sand volleyball by a man I had just met the day before. **unbeknownst to me** I crashed my now-brother-in-law's family birthday party. we ate cake, laughed, and played sand volleyball past dark. while I was trying to wash my feet off with the hose, this sweet man asked if he could help. I hesitated. in my mind was this conversation: "oh that's sweet", "does he not think I can do this myself?", "he is trying to help you", "but you don't need his help"... and after realizing he was staring at me waiting for an answer, I slowly handed him the hose and blurted out, "sometimes it's hard for me to accept help." he smiled and tenderly washed my feet.

fastforward to now and that tender, servant-hearted man is my adventure partner for life. he washed my feet at our wedding because that's how he fell for me and because he wanted to begin our marriage in the servant-love shown by Jesus to His disciples. yet it didn't stop there. with each day that passes I am blown away that I get to call this man "husband." he works incredibly hard. he encourages me to love others well, lean into Jesus, and transform my mind through memorizing scripture. he washes dishes, hangs pictures, orders pizza when I don't feel like cooking, builds shelves, and extends me grace daily. what did I do to deserve this kind of love? nothing. and still...

praise the Lord for His goodness, His mercy, and His love that I get to be reminded of daily through one of His beautiful gifts to me: my Michael James.

happy {monday}

oh the monday struggle.

there are two different species of mondays for me: 1) the "I'm dreading this week" and "weekend withdrawal" monday and 2) the "uber productive", "watch out to-do list" monday. as I sit here this morning, third cup of coffee in hand, I am still waiting to find out which monday is today. there is a mountain of to-do's, reading lists that keep piling up, thank-you notes to be written, and a beach calling my name. luckily, the threat of not having any "extra" time after class begins in three-ish weeks is just the motivation I need to give me a little extra this morning. **and yet I still need three cups of coffee. yikes**

here's to slow sundays, long walks, and the to-do list hustle.

**also, for the best breakfast hash recipe EVER go here. promise you won't be disappointed**

adventures {san diego edition}

our first adventure was a honeymoon-week right after the wedding to san diego, california. not exactly the all-inclusive place most people would want to go, so here is why we chose it: 1. we both like to experience and explore new places. we knew going out of the country to a nice resort would be luxurious, but we wanted to be able to get out and explore if/when we wanted! 2. we are lovers of all things local and knew we would really want to eat where the locals eat, do what the locals do, and really know the place we were going. 3. neither of us speak a different language, so in order to experience a new place, it needed to be an english-speaking destination. 4. we wanted to go somewhere that would be nice, but not a once-in-a-lifetime place. we wanted to go somewhere that we could go back to on future anniversaries and bring family.... put all of that together **plus some exploring on pinterest** and you get san diego, california.

it was beautiful. my man and the city. san diego, your city is filled with beautiful souls that loved us well, filled our bellies, and made us crave you all the time. you gave us wonderful sunsets, beautiful cliff beaches, amazing wine in the hills, a full day exploring the best zoo, and a trolley tour with tons of personality. to say we can't wait to return is an understatement. 

things we highly recommend:

- lunch/dinner: barefoot bar & grill (get the bread pudding for dessert. just do it), taco stand, caveman pizza (we recommend getting a cheese-less/extra sauce pizza bcuz it's worth it), & tidal (where the first pic of the mr was taken)

-breakfast/BRUNCH: fig tree cafe (you can't go wrong here), the cottage, & the mission **y'all, brunch is hands-down the best meal of the day**

- places to see: San Diego Zoo, Windansea Beach, Old Towne Trolley Tour, Coronado Island,  & Orfela Vineyard