what are you having?!

"what are you having?!?" it's the inevitable question I get from everyone who sees the bump, which gets more and more obvious by the day. it's quite amazing the wide variety of reactions I get when I tell people, "we will find out when Nugget arrives!" equally amazing is my ability not to quickly reply, "we're hoping it's a human, but who knows," in an incredibly sarcastic tone. people's immediate reaction seems to be some form of why, ranging from amazement to shock & horror. so, here are some answers to a few of your questions...

1. ally's family. I am the oldest of four kids. my parents only found out the gender with me (because they lived overseas back in the day). growing up, I loved the surprise and fun of not knowing whether I was going to have a little brother or a little sister come due date. I absolutely loved going to the hospital and finding out who we were bringing home! not finding out the gender of our first little takes me back to the excitement of those days!

2. I love surprises. yes, it's true: this type A-ish personality really does love surprises. I love planning surprises for other people, and I love being surprised. some might say (and have), "there are plenty of surprises coming your way, so you should just find out." this new, crazy adventure of parenthood is a complete mystery to us. I don't know what the future looks like at all, but I love getting to imagine different scenarios with a little son or a little daughter. the fact that there is a promise of more surprises along the way doesn't make me want to avoid this pretty amazing one!

3. the massive bows. I am not a massive bow person. it has been the style for little girls to wear massive bow headbands, many of which are bigger than the baby's head. everything in me wants to rescue the little girl from those things. the other thing that's just not my style: tutus. if we do end up having a daughter and she wants all the massive bows and tutus, I'm sure we will end up getting them for her. however, I know that if we were to find out ahead of time, that's all we would get a baby showers. people, we have a registry for a reason.

4. according to Michael, I'm anti-bandwagon. the fact that everyone else is doing something often makes me do the opposite. I like being different and, sometimes, I like that it drives other people crazy. so your reaction telling me I'm crazy or urging me to find out?? in a weird way, you are just re-affirming my position that it was a great decision to wait for the super fun surprise!

5. we are so excited either way! michael and I are just super excited to be welcoming this little life into the world, no matter what the gender. we don't have our hearts set either way where we would need time to prepare if it wasn't "what we wanted." we have names picked out for both genders, and we are so excited to meet Nugget when he/she arrives!!

6. we're still bonding with Nugget. the argument that people feel closer to their babies when they can call them by name is a total waste for me. maybe that's because this is our first, so it's all I know, BUT I pray for Nugget, talk to Nugget, dream about Nugget, etc. just like I would if I knew the gender and could do the same by a specific name we have chosen. calling this littles Nugget doesn't make him/her seem less like a real life to me because he/she is very much alive (and super active) and well inside me. next please.

7. yes, I'm still normal. not a day goes by that I don't "guess" what gender is growing inside of me. sometimes, if I'm feeling really crazy, I do all the old wives tales to see what those say **stay tuned for another fun post about these** but rather than driving me crazy, I actually find the not knowing part fun! **ok, so maybe that's not so normal...**

so there you have it, peoples. the reasons behind our decision to wait until Nugget arrives before finding out his/her gender. we think it's fun **even if it does drive you crazy**

more faithful than the rising sun

I know, I know... it's been awhile. honestly, there are so many reasons I haven't updated, but the main one is we are facing a lot of unknowns in the next 8 months. those unknowns can be super overwhelming at times, but we are trying to lean into the Lord and remind ourselves of His faithfulness. time and time again I find myself questioning His faithfulness because it seems like He doesn't hear and definitely isn't answering. 

as of right now, here are the "knowns": 
1) I graduate law school in May 2017 **insert all the praise hands here**
2) Nugget's arrival will (likely) happen sometime in the end of december or early january
3) I will (hopefully) be taking the texas bar exam July 2017

... and here are the scary unknowns:
1) the adventure partner's job after we move
2) a job for me after the bar exam
3) when to move to texas
4) where in texas to move
5) being parents (yeah... we're clueless)

however, the Lord is good and everything He does is good. why? because this past week He showed up and reminded me that He sees us and is still at work. He reminded me of His great, incredible faithfulness, even in the details. last monday, we had another little scary incident that landed me back in the doctor's office, wondering if we would meet Nugget a little lot earlier than planned. everything is looking good, and Nugget is still cooking, but the next step was for me to give up the stetson national pretrial competition I have been working so hard towards. how has that been a blessing? well, my stress level has gone down significantly, and I am able to breathe (and sleep) more throughout the week. next, on thursday, we had a law student organization day requiring me to dress up a little more than usual. I wore a dress that is a little more form-fitting than usual and people began noticing (for the first time) that I am pregnant. I had a sweet friend from school come up and offer to give us for FREE a bassinet, co-sleeper, Bumbo seat, and a couple of other things. **insert tears streaming down my face here** I had another couple offer to give us their gently-used infant carseat stroller system for $100. because I have been slightly freaking out about finances and all the things I have to get to prepare for Nugget, these things were such an incredible blessing. when I came home later that day, I felt as if the Lord was saying, "ally, I see you. I hear your prayers. trust that I have this." 

but it gets better... we Skyped Michael's parents who told us they are buying the crib mattress (we already have the crib) and bedding. and my parents told me they want to buy us the stroller from our friends and get us/me a jogging stroller.

as if that wasn't enough to get this preggo super emotional, Michael heard about a different position with Walmart that a) would get him off the overnight schedule **can we say, amen, praise Jesus?!** and b) be a much better fit for his giftings. he asked the higher ups about the position, and they agreed he would be a great fit and are chatting about the possibilities. 

all of that to say, God is good. all the time. even when I forget. He is more faithful than each sunrise, more steady than the mountains.