{truth} lately

"Let the redeemed of the Lord say so, whom He has redeemed from the hand of the adversary and gathered from the lands... Let them give thanks to the Lord for His lovingkindness, and for His wonders to the sons of men! For He has satisfied the thirst soul, and the hungry soul He has filled with what is good." - Psalm 107:2-3,8-9

since Michael & I have been engaged, I have been doing a countdown through the Psalms: there are 107 days left until we get married, so I read the 107th Psalm this morning. since college I have loved the psalms for showing me that God isn't scared of our feelings; king david, whom God calls a man after His heart, tells us how he really feels. he wasn't afraid to "yell" at God, tell God he was disappointed, or ask God where He was. but he also reminded himself of God's faithfulness, love, and mercy. he constantly remembers where he was before the Lord, and where the Lord has brought him now. 

remembering God's faithfulness can be hard sometimes, especially when there are so many other distractions. this morning I am reminded of God's faithfulness in looking back to where He rescued me. my sophomore year of college... February 2009. I had placed my identity in so many different things: basketball, boys, body image, etc. the one thing they all had in common was leaving me broken and empty. I will never forget driving on the oklahoma turnpike, crying because my identity that was misplaced in a boy was just crushed, and the Lord almost whispering, "are you done?" you see, in my head I knew truth. I grew up in the church, but it just never sank in until that day, driving with a broken heart. these years and years after have not been easy, and there are plenty of times that I have failed to remember the Lord's faithfulness in rescuing me from the dark pit of lies I had fallen into. but that's why we have reminders of truth in God's Word! later in verses 19-20 it says:

"Then they cried out to the Lord in their trouble; He saved them out of their distresses. He sent His word and headed them, and delivered them from their destructions."

here's to: broken moments, remembering God's faithfulness, and His beautiful redemption story! 

to all the girls

I am a fan of strong women. I will forever be grateful to my 11th grade english teacher who introduced me to Elizabeth Bennett from Pride and Prejudice; to my sweet friend Katie who showed me how to be an athlete, yet still be feminine; to loads on loads of heart friends who show me what it looks like to be a strong, beautiful woman who loves the Lord and people. however, there is a difference in the women I just described and the "strong" woman many think of today. today's strong woman is still confident, wise, and fierce, but we added some harmful things and have lost something really important... **disclaimer: I realize many will not agree with me, and I'm ok with that**

who are the women we look up to in today's society? beyonce, rhianna, miley cyrus, and the list goes on and on. these are all women who have been on the covers of countless magazines, are super successful in their field, and are role models for countless young women. but let's think about the archetype of woman this is: strong, smart/business savvy, talented, rockin {unrealistic} bods, sexually liberated, and confident. don't get me wrong, I have been a fan of B for years, and I jam out to "flawless" probably more than I'd like to admit. however, over the past 6 months my eyes have slowly opened to the message these women are passing to me and countless other women: that we are valuable for our bodies and being a woman really means being confident and liberated sexually **cue miley butt-naked swinging on a wrecking ball here & let's not even mention bey's soft-porn music videos** here's the deal, this doesn't actually value women at all. it plays into this objectivity of women; it communicates to us, and the world, that women are only valuable for their bodies, what they can do with them, and how many men want to go to bed with them. yikes... strong woman? that's not how I want to be remembered... in fact, why am I even going to law school when my intelligence is not something the world considers valuable? yesterday I went to a conference called "Human Rights and the Sexualization of Culture" where Benjamin Nolot from Exodus Cry said, "if you conducted a survey of 100 girls from 11-14, most, if not all, could tell you the top 3 women pop-culture icons, but I bet you would be hard pressed to even find one who could tell you the names of the three women Supreme Court Justices." I'm ashamed to say that I didn't even know there were three women Justices, & I'm in law school... so how do we change this? what is the right view of women?

for a long time I struggled with the Proverbs 31 woman as this woman who was quiet and did what her husband told her to... but then I started to really read it. "the heart of her husband trusts her... [she] works with her hands in delight... she brings food from afar, she rises also while it is still night... she considers a field and buys it; from her earnings she plants a vineyard... she girds herself with strength... she extends her hands to the poor, and stretches out her hands to the needy... strength and dignity are her clothing, and she smiles at the future... she opens her mouth in wisdom..." to quote Elizabeth Bennett, "she would certainly be a most fearsome thing to behold." women and men, when are we going to stop valuing women for their bodies? when will be begin to value women for the content of their character?! let's quit buying this lie, and exchange it for the truth that our identity is worth far more than what the world is telling us!

{busyness} defined

I remember being in high school thinking that I was busy because my life was consumed by sports **mostly basketball** & school. however, I got a great amount of sleep every night, had plenty of time to "do nothing" & didn't even have to make to-do lists! then came freshman year of college, varsity basketball **two-a-days**, classes, and a social life to balance. then the rest of college, after I transferred to arkansas **aka the best three years ever** when I had class, building new community, and nothing but time. the long breaks, going to the park in the middle of the day just because, and "studying" in the library with the bests. those were the days. then came post-college with a strange work schedule, two weeks off a year, but still time to catch yoga classes & wine nights with good friends. those three years post college were followed by a bliss of a summer by the pool, visiting friends all over the south, and being thrown into a new, long-distance fling... it was like a movie.

then came last august, where I move to the east coast, began law school, made new friends, kept up with old ones, and began #samecitydating. august-december were some of the busiest, roughest, but oh-so-rewarding months of my life. I don't think I've ever been that disciplined to get crap done, that focused on a goal, or had that long of a to-do list. but it happened, and now I'm back for round 2. except this semester there's a catch... I'm also planning a wedding & getting used to this shiny thing on my finger. june 13, 2015. needless to say, my to-do lists just multiplied, time keeps running short, and my focus is split. how in the world am I supposed to do all of this, and do all of this WELL?!

as I sit here and think about what all needs to be done this week, I am reminded of how relative busy-ness really is. I'm sure one day I'll look back at these next few months and think, "sister, you had NO idea what being busy looked like"... but until then, I'm learning to wake up each day and focus on just that day. how? first, coffee & quiet time. always. no exceptions. then to-do lists. then sleep. wake up, repeat.